Monday, June 27, 2011

Women and Dress

Debates, discussions, arguments, conclusions are good way to know one person's thoughts and ideals and they are always healthy time pass for brain too. Once while talking to a close friend, there arose a question from him - why does women dress provocatively? He was trying to get answers and justification for this act of women. I started giving him logical reasons for this by initiating that it is her wish to dress in such a way. He was not convinced. Then I too started digging deep down in my brain asking myself why do I dress the way I dress? Do I provocate or invite looks when I pass by? Am I sending wrong notions to men around me by the way of dressing? The answers to all these questions convinced me but not my friend. He is still in search for his answers. I had promised that I would help him may be after reading this blog lets see if his logically bound brain has stopped searching.

Comfortness - The level of comfortness is the first criteria I look in a dress when I wear it. Apart from my taste, the comfort zone today is decided by people around me. It is the same for any women. When she buys a new dress, she checks if she looks pretty in that to her own eyes. Her taste comes first. Her close circle of people comes next, whose opinion she matters most. I am very sure many girls would have discarded buying a dress though liked by her very much, just because of the fact that she gives more importance to her peer's taste. I don't say this wrong because in turn when people around her are happy she is more happy. But this logic does not suit always. May be for a dress, she can choose other's opinions, coz it is just a dress. There are other things/situations where my decision takes the final upper hand to make me happy rather than the opinion of people close to me.

Next to comfortness, the climate also decides what I wear. In a cold country, I cannot wear clothes that barely cover me up. Also in a sultry atmosphere like chennai, I cannot always roam clad up in a 6 yard saree or the completely covered Salwar with dupatta. The theme of the place is another factor - I avoid wearing jean when I go to temple{where I rarely go} not because I see it inappropriate but for the simple reason that still in India there are few traditional conservative sect of people who do not allow people in jeans to enter the temple premises and I wish not to be left alone outside guarding the sandals. Similarly there are places where wearing western attire seems more appropriate to me.

Coming to wearing revealing/provacative dresses - Who defines a dress to be revealing/provacative? A chudithar{mind it with dupatta} is OK, a neatly pinned up saree is fine, loosely fit clothes are perfectly good - what else a burqua covering up the entire body is 100% covered. On the other hand, a skin hugging t-shirt is not OK, tightly fitted jean is not OK, deep neck Salwar is a strict no - no, a glassy transparent saree - omg no way - that is a big sin. If she goes ahead doing it, she will be looked down like a Slut. She has invited deep trouble all to herself as prying eyes are upon her from all directions in all places wherever she goes. No matter if that is her taste and these clothes are more comfortable than anything she wears. This does not mean that she can be the victim for crimes. And anyone can whistle at her and pass comments and try to come in her private space. How can I forget those cruel eyes which can scan and rape a girl just by their looks? Who gave them those rights? Who has taught them that if a girl dress up that way, she is a free museum article to be looked? Forget about looking - no women is going to be melted when you look at her the normal way you see anything. Why going beyond limits? Why making her uncomfortable? Dress is a dress, thats all. If she wishes to close her skin, let her do it. If she does not wish, let her do that also. Let her define her own level of decent dressing.

It has been taught and deeply rooted in the minds of everyone that men and women are not equal and there are always different laws for both the gender and the fairer sex ends up having the strict rules ever designed. The attitude and the look has to be changed. Right from the young age why are not everyone taught that men and women are equal and every one needs the same level of respect and the rules. In Indian Peak summer, a man can dress up in shorts and sleeveless but why not women can do the same? She does not go out bare body, she know the level of decency in dressing. When he wears a low waist jean and a t shirt reaching his hips, he is a cool guy but when she wears something in the no - no list, she is called a slut, she is a dark spot in the country which defines culture and she has forgetten all the traditions. I feel like uttering all the bad words I know at this point of time. But for the sake of not making my blog a place for garbage, I shall restrict my language.

Can the Slut walk happening all over the world started first in Canada and then in major cities like New york, London, Sydney and soon to happen in Delhi brings a change in the way this issue is looked? To give a small intro to those who are not aware of the Slut Walk - a cop in Toronto gave a statement saying that women should be more careful in dressing to avoid the unnecessary crimes happening against them. To show their opposition and to bring awareness that attire should not be deciding factor, women all over the world have joined in this Walk in which they wear the so called revealing and provacative dress. In a week's time, curses started blowing towards the canadian cop and heated arguments why is the walk named Slut Walk? Is the walk needed? What is the use of this? Is there going to be a change? As far as my perception, of course there will be a change. Nothing turns up in a day's time. Revolutions and oppositions like this alone can let others know that something wrong/unjust is happening to the fairer sect of the society. Leave out joining this cause, let us atleast be aware of such incidents and let us take an initiative starting from our home to teach the young boys to give due respect and equality to girls no matter what they wear. Let the dress be not the deciding factor for a women's safety.


  1. I had written a big reply and stupid blogger had a error :(

    Well I go by the dress that fits my WAIST thats the only criteria ...

    regarding the famous walk well I am just wondering that HAD the Cop in canada been VERY POLITICALLY CORRECT in his statement.. Had anything happened .. something to think of ... No one would have bothered about it ..


  2. Hello dear:

    Just dropped by to take a look at your world.


  3. Wear what you like...I never give much importance to what I wear

    Hope you are liking Dubai by now, it is an exciting place

  4. @Bikram Ji - Sorry for the late reply. .office se comment ka link kaam nahin kar raha hai :(. I need the big reply. Next time post karne ke pehle ctrl+C kar lijiye pls.

    Hmm sochne vaali baath hai.. lekin woh cop tho famous ho gaya.

    @ Mike - Thank you. Keep visiting
    @Pesto - Wearing what I like comes next to wearing what is appropriate. Defining the appropriateness is the toughest part.
    Yup I am liking it slowly. Exciting - Never found that exciting till now. Hope you are also doing good.