Friday, February 25, 2011

Can't a women stay ALONE?

How do you stay alone in a home? Don't you feel scared? Are you OK to travel alone? Why are these questions asked to single WOMEN in a big city like Chennai? And especially these questions are asked by close family members and a few friends who know a very little of us and the smirky looks given by neighbours. I can understand that it is a matter of concern they try to give us. But I just wish to tell to everyone out there who ask us this question -- We are OK and we are totally totally FINE by ourselves and we do NOT need any kind of sympathy look upon us. Please stop telling us that there are dangers everywhere when we go out alone. We can take care of those dangers and of course we are genuinely aware of them.

But then why are these questions not asked to a MAN? Is it because he is sexually stronger than WOMEN or has every single Men in this country has learnt some kind of defense art? I just despise those people who do this gender biasing even in this century. I have known lots and lots of women who stay alone and who are just enjoying their life. We too want to do the same in our own ways. So please spare me with these silly questions from now on. I guess people out there are just jealous of our freedom and our independence. They try to inflict a kind of guiltyness inside me for which I am just going to give a damn. Next time, when someone try to ask me "Is your mother staying alone when you are out of city? or Are you staying alone when mom not in city?" --- I can appreciate if it is a concern for us but not if it is going to be non-stop nonsense.

We are grown up people who know the good and bad of the city. We know to guard ourselves from expected dangers. We know the best & safest route to take to home. We of course of aware of which transportation is suitable for us. Even if it is for a life totally, we can stay alone and remain single. It is a decision made by us and made only for us. And we make sure that this decision of ours is not going to disturb anyone's life out there.

So come on people, WAKE up -- Please do not intrude into other's privacy. Don't try to act over-smart when you are not supposed to do anything. Stop giving smirking looks at women who live her own life and on her own rules. Treat her the same as you would treat her when she stays with a son/husband. She is in no way less than anybody else just because she has decided not to depend upon anyone. Leave out supporting them, you can atleast be not discouraging to them. You can all think that just by answering everyone why dont I just move on? No I cannot answer every damn soul I come across, coz those questions make my mood off. The very thought of those ignorant questions give me a pathetic look on them. There are few nice people with me who genuinely care about us when we are staying alone. I hope all becomes as matured and understandable as them.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Madras Memoirs - I

My earlier post about the uneasiness I face to fit in the city I reside had so many comments from a variety of friends. Some even felt that I am so much frustrated in life that I am not able to digest the basic things in India. At the same time a few felt the same way I feel and could match with what I wrote. And a few said that in due course of time, everyone get used to all such things. I tell everyone of them strongly that "Getting Used" is definitely not a solution to any problems. It just makes you weaker. But I agree that fighting against the system is really mad because as an individual you dont match the opponent in this case. What I finally concluded is to enjoy the good things I come across and this post is about those small small happiness which I am going to cherish as memories of Madras.

First thing, I am really really lucky to find a home - a decent 2 BHK very close to my office which is hardly 2 Kms from my door. In my initial days here before buying my Aviator, I used to walk back to home from office with my earphones plugged in and enjoying the breeze of this sea-city. It was amazing to walk alone with just happiness that you are enjoying this moment and thinking of nothing else. And Of course I was the slowest walker in the road in those times :P

The extensive network of railways connecting the corners of the city enthrills me much. Whenever I had to travel, I am relaxed now a days as I know for sure the time take I am going to take to reach the destination. The trains are never delayed here and are more frequent than in hyderabad. I know that Delhi Metro neatness and Mumbai Suburb frequency can't be compared to Chennai local trains, but I am happy with this. The trains keep you away from traffic and also from pollution and I can also travel safely without someone in a close proximity.

I used to hate beaches because everytime I go there, I end up sweating like a pig and returning home with a dark tanned face. But after our last trip to Mahabalipuram my entire view of beaches changed. We had a fantastic time by playing like kids on the sea shore in an isolated beach (fishermen's village). We built our own small sand castles{of course they crashed in the 2nd wave :P} and got us drenched inspite of mom's warnings. I would love to visit that place again sometime and get totally drenched from head to toe. The beach was so neat for a change and there were not many people, other than the fishermen who took so much pain to start a small boat and we saw live fishes being caught from the sea. The blue sky and the blue see captured that day with my eyes will stay alive for years to come.

And the language - I no longer have to interpret everything for my mom here as she is far-versed in Tamil than me. Also as it is my mother tongue I am obviously bound to like this city. I dont know the reasons for this. But as everyone say, many people's thinking language would be their mother tongue. I guess its mine too many a times and I think this would help me to achieve one of my resolutions for this year.

I can travel to my loved ones' home as and when I need. Its just a night travel and even less than that in many cases. The geographical closeness let me travel in weekends and have a nice time. If not in chennai I would not have seen all my loved relations in the same month I got settled in this city. Thanks a lot to Chennai for that.

I am also happy that my mom likes this new change. She is happy and so I am happy. She has got her own space in life and we are trying to make that as comfortable as we can. I wish there is a sequel to this post soon. Till then, happy weekend to all.