Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Happy Happy Birthday!!!!!!



The thought of the birthday cake, a lovely bouquet and all new new things to be worn and getting decked up and going to office --- how can she miss all those enjoyments coming once a year...So, in spite of a very damn cough, today morning, she turned hyper active and started smiling the time she opened her eyes. It is the young lady's birthday today and she is enjoying it with all her friends wishing her now and then. Messages in her inbox wishing joyful year and cool handshakes and wishes from dear ones are making the day. And she is yet to receive so many calls. Hope no one forgets it. The girl is turning 24 and she has grown up so much and no one will call her girl but woman. Naa she is still a kid to her mom and will be always special to few. Wish her a very Happy Happy Birthday and I am giving her a tight hug to keep her smiling the rest of the year......

Friday, May 21, 2010

Grass is green on other side of the fence



Yesterday I was reminded again of the proverb, that the grass on the other side will be always green. Though I know this proverb right from my school days, why am I forgetting this now and then and start cribbing about life. I know very well that money is not everything in life and I know clearly that only hard work can get me success. But still then, my mind goes wavering and start jealous about things which I cant achieve at this point of time and can never do it for years to come. The reason could be the economic situation I was and the restrictions as a middle-class person should have been nearly 7 years ago. There could be lots of reasons for it, but the truth is my hard work was not enough for the feat. Many around me think that I have succeeded well in life and have reached a few feats unachievable by others. Me and my mom together dreamt myself to be a physician rather than being a software engineer who I am today. The sight of the clean hands and the white coat and the steth amazed me a little more than the guys who earned more in less time by doing very intelligent work with the computer. If I had thought and foreseen that I would write a blog on my career shift and crib about the other side, I would have studied a bit more for my medical entrance. :) But with the 2003 cricket world cup around, does anybody think that I could have scored more than 97%. Today, I have loop holes to escape questions from everyone, but at the same time, I should be able to satisfy myself too.

I should also be contented with what I get today. I am happy with my life. I am so blessed to get a monthly salary with which I can eat, sleep, drink, do a lot of things which many in life can't do. I am also contented that I got a lovely family and lots of caring friends. I am proud that I am doing the 2nd best job I could have chosen. I can also raise my collars and say that I pursue my hobby of dancing after all this 23 years of life. Even at this moment, I have the full interest to learn any new things to keep me occupied. Then the most important of all things, I have not got bored in life in the past 5 months. To be frank, I don't have enough time to finish off my novels and write a blog post on what all I read and what all I come across. I am also excited about my post graduation getting completed in 6 months for sure{ I passed my 3rd semester officially}.

So since I am happy about all this, I should not crib/cry/remain sleepless thinking that I could have done that/this. I could have been a doctor. I could have been sent to states for my post graduation. All is past. No regrets again. If I do this once again, I am a foolish girl and I dont want to be tagged like that. I want to live in the present believing strongly that the other side of the fence will be always greener than the side where I stand. But I dont like the colour green and I am happy remaining yellow. :)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Words.....

How much can words hurt you? Can they pierce your well-guarded mind like a lightning?. Well in my case the words coming out of the mouth as well as the words written on a piece of paper can do equivalent harm. I dont feel any difference in them. They have hurt me and touched my soul equally. Very rarely the books I read make me feel and make me think a lot. Today when I was reading a novel, suddenly all my senses were confined a single thought of misery and it took me nearly 30 mins to come out of the feeling. I just wished to erase that moment when I read those lines. It is a misery of a young girl faced in her home where the fairer sex is considered as good for nothing living beings. It was not exaggerated much. But the situation and the culprit words striked me and had shaken me so much that I felt really a chill down the spine. The experience was indeed a new one to me. I craved for some nice chocolate to get rid of the feeling. I drank so much water and tried to forget the incident in the book but with no vain. After nearly half an hour and a gentle cribbing about the book to my friend I was little relaxed. In this whole morning episode of my life, one thing I am again remembered is that I am just so so so sensitive and get easily emotional. Is that the reason, the fairer sex is marked as the weaker sex too??? I feel ashamed to accept this fact. But I can also think that I am just so cared about everything. When you see others in pain, you should always feel sad for them rather than being happy or being untouched. And just by feeling its not enough. You should always take the initiative to make others happy. I guess I learnt this in my Moral Science class. But why am I writing all this here in this post where I just want to explain myself more and make me cheerful. Its all the things which I ought to remind myself again and again. Never Ever think of hurting others by words. I guess I would have forgotten this, hence I am faced to hear all words which I dont want to, coz what u do is the reason for all what you get.

I also had a very bad weekend listening to some words I dont deserve to hear at any cost. I am not going into details of why I got to hear them and why I ought to fight with him, since sometime later, when I read these words, I donot want to cry. I have a strong conviction that this also will pass and will make me stronger a bit than yesterday. And with my 24th birthday coming up in a week, I dont want to spoil my week recalling all these cruel words and doing much thinking. Wish to have a peaceful week ahead.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Do I have to SAY?

Pre:Script:
Almost all the sentences below will start with 'I' and end with 'I' and I am sure this will be kind of a boring posts to many. It is one of those times, I just wish all these are put in words and re-read by me again and again and so I cannot help posting this. Ur genuine comments are always welcome.

Life is full of contradictions and so am I. I felt again a lot of mixed emotions last week. So many kind of thoughts engulfed me in a week. I am reminded once more that I tend to lose my temper so easily and get to a mood of upset from which it takes a really long time to come out. I have been adviced to show my emotions out and I am also said some other time that it is better to hide your emotions for the larger benefit of self and others. The choice has always been mine and have been encouraged to choose among anything to show myself matured. But in the midst of these choices and decisions, somewhere I get lost to convince my choice to others whom I mostly dependant on for my happiness. Convincing others --- the thought comes when I need others to accept my feelings and when I want others to look the way I look. Its not always right. It is a terrible mistake if I ask my neighbour to dress the way I want. But dont I have the right to ask people look at my life the way I want? Truly speaking, I am really bad at convincing people be it a small party to be given to my colleagues which I think of procrastinating always or be it any life altering decison. This is one of my weakness I am trying to forego. Rather foregoing, I just want others to understand without me being the one to explain things. I know its kind of exaggerated wanting from mine. No one can guess what my brain is thinking unless they are put in words. Its so bad na, that the words which come out of our mouth and the eyes showing the emotions are the only 2 things from which others can find u out. I need some more kind of extra things to show my emotions, rather than using words at the momentous times. They can be wrong. Many a times, words put at the right time were totally wrong and totally meaningless, never intended to show or prove myself and my thoughts. I am trying hard not to repeat that kind of thing anymore. When I am given a keyboard or a pen, and when I am asked to express, I can do it far better and strict to my thoughts rather than being contradictory. But I really create a mess when I am asked to answer someone face to face. Rather than being true to myself, I end up in being good to the eyes of others, which at later point of time upsets me. I should learn the habit of being true to myself and true to others at the same time, which I know will never happen. But trying to achieve that feat is the essence of living and will be in my to-do list from now on.